The last few days have, obviously, been difficult. I went up to a friend's house on Saturday, after saying by to him while moving his stuff out. It was very hard, saying goodbye. I still love him dearly, and I still hope that he will eventually change his mind. I spoke with him on Sunday evening. I had called him cause he had called a friend of mine. I was wondering why. He had apparently told my friend how wonderful I was, and that I'd find someone great someday. I told him how I had already found someone great. Him. That he is the one I wanted to be with. Even if we never got married, as long as I could be with him, that is what I wanted. Even if we were just dating now, and not engaged, to be with him. He said, "Just give me time." So that gave me a little bit of hope. But he also said eventually I'd be ok. So I am obviously trying to not get my hopes up about anything. I don't want to think we'll be getting back together when he has no plans to ever do so.
Do you know what one of the hardest things is? Sleeping in an empty bed. When we first started spending the night with each other, I used to not sleep so well. He was a close sleeper. Cuddling. I was not used to that. But then as time went on, especially when we started living together, it became hard to sleep alone. When I'd go home for the weekend, or something like that, it would take me a while to fall asleep. I find myself cuddling up with pillows to make it easier. But my sleep still isn't the same. I miss having that person in the bed with me. It makes me feel...so alone.
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2 comments:
I think he said it best: just give him time. One of the problems you said was he wanted space and you had a hard time giving it to him. Let him miss you.
Sounds easy in theory. It's the practice thing that's hard.
yes, it's very hard to practice. it's been extremely hard not calling or texting him. i'm horrible at it. it's difficult (to put it mildly) to go from living with him, to having little to no contact.
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