my new laundry system

i have never been a fan of doing laundry. especially PAYING to do laundry. which for the last couple weeks i have had to do since i am no longer with former boyfriend (i knew i should've done more laundry the last time i did it there). with my impending trip to vegas this weekend i obviously need lots of fabulous clothes to take with me. so...have i slowly been working my way through the mountain of clothes that is my laundry? no. of course not. that would be much too economical. instead, i have gone out and bought more clothes. more clothes to put in my closets (that's right, more than one) that are already full and bursting with clothes. last night when i was shopping, at the second or third store i was at, i was at the counter making my purchase. i decided a pair of pants were a little more than i wanted to pay (not that they were even that much), so i told the sales girl i didn't want them. it was hard to do. so hard, in fact, that i am sitting here at my desk wearing said pants. i think i have a real problem. part out of being lazy, and part out of not being able to say no.

R.I.P.

a friend of mine passed away the other night. when i got the news i honestly couldn't believe it, cause i had just talked to him the night/morning it happened. it turns out that within an hour after our conversation he died. it kind of shook me up a bit, cause it made me realize how quickly you can lose someone. and that you should really cherish the people you are friends with, cause you never know when the last time you see them will be. i'm glad i was able to see him a few days earlier, and also talk to him one last time.

things i'll miss:
1. the random text messages and phone calls i'd get out of nowhere.
2. the cheesy dancing behind the bar.
3. the stupid/funny things you'd do to get people to laugh (i still laugh remembering some of the things you did that first time i went to your house). you kept me laughing even up to the last time we talked.
4. the unexplainable admiration/love for james garner.
5. that you always made my drinks just right, and that you rolled your eyes at me if i ever said they were too strong, and you had to water them down.

of course there are other things i'll miss. these are just a few of what comes to mind at the moment. we'll all miss you. you are gone much too soon.

my plans

i find myself with a lot of free time this weekend. alone free time, as the roommate has gone out of town. i have decided to use this time to try and cheer myself up. i can do or watch whatever i want, and just take time to make myself happy since i haven't been in that great of a mood lately. so far, so good. i've watched tons of awful-yet-good tv. taken a nap. have the new us weekly and so i think that i have at least one day's worth of activities. sunday i'm driving up north a little ways for one of my good friend's graduations. so hopefully that will be fun. so i'm looking forward to a relaxing, and hopefully rejuvenating weekend. i could really use one.

a new sighting!

i came across talks to himself guy. he was not talking to himself. but he had a shit load of laundry. (we were in the laundry room). at first he was alone, being completely mute, and sans his always moving lips. then who is either his mom or maybe a wife/girlfriend (though i suspect a mom) was there with him. i couldn’t make out the name she called him. he literally spoke maybe 10 words the whole half hour we were in that little room together. and...all he did was stand and kept the door leading to outside open (which i did NOT appreciate since it was cold). his mom person did all the work, which took up every washing mashine. there are six i believe. him and g.c.m. confuse me so much.

i'm just like nancy drew

aside from spending some much needed time with my girlfriends this weekend, i did a little detective work. it all started on saturday when i saw g.c.m. walking out of the building in the back parking lot. he was walking out to this car parked directly behind mine. i now knew where his parking spot, and also which part of the building he lived in. he was coming out to meet an older gentleman. hard to tell if it is a father or a roommate. could g.c.m. be gay? maybe...i can't rule it out yet. i also found out what kind of car he has, which according to the stickers, he is a fan of both the chargers, and golf. upon my roommate's and my inspection of his car it was totally empty save a roll of paper towels. later in the day my roommate said the car was full of stuff. very peculiar. i will crack this mystery of g.c.m.

the joys of the work lunch

today was the lunch for my team at work. i had many thoughts about this. and fears. i have heard the awkwardness that accompanies these types of get togethers from my roommate, and experienced a few myself over the last few months. but what happened today was not what i expected. instead of awkward silence, and people just pushing their food around, everyone was talking. i instead encountered a different type of terror. the "work tmi". why do people feel the need to share so much about their personal lives. i understand somethings you can share. i get it. you want people to get to know about you. but i don't really need to know all about how about people getting drunk and stuff like that. unnecessary.

finally some answers

i saw the former boyfriend today. i had to go pick up my things from his house. not something i was looking forward to, but at the same time i was hoping it would provide me with some answers, and i wanted to see him one more time before he left for 2 1/2 months. i am happy to say that i did get some answers. while i wish we were still together, i at least now know what is going on, and understand, and can begin to make my peace with it. i know that we will at least be able to be friends, and who knows, maybe more someday. but i realize at the same time that i can't put my hopes in that cause i could end up getting hurt if i make that assumption. so i guess i'm just going to take a we'll see where we both are when the time comes stance on it. i just kind of wished i had know the real reasons from the beginning, instead of feeling like shit all weekend, and wondering what the hell was wrong with me that this has happened for a second time. so after talking to him i really feel a lot better. perhaps too optimistic about things, but at least it is a step to healing.

i have some of the best friends

i've had a pretty shitty last couple of days. the boyfriend and i broke up, via email, and i feel like i don't really have any clear answers. while i respect his decision to not want to date me anymore(it's not like i can argue my way back into him wanting to be with me), i don't quite know how to handle that i have no real reason. something else i don't know how to handle is that i am basically in the same fucking situation i was in a year ago. not exactly the same, cause while it was through an email, at least this guy had enough courage to break up with me instead of treating me like shit until I had to break up with him. i wish i were more mad so i could just get over it, we could move on to being just friends, and we'd all be happy. but as of now, i'm not mad. i don't know that i'll ever really be mad at him for it. but i guess the nice thing about all that is, is that i have all my friends who have decided to be mad for me. the same one who was the one who was telling me not to worry that it would all work out is now one of the ones who is the most upset for me. i don't know what i would do without such good friends. i know there are those of you who felt i shouldn't be with him in the first place, but it means a lot that you are still there for me so much while i'm trying to deal with this. you've really been helpful to me, whether you know it or not. as soon as you found out you practically had a whole weekend of plans for me to keep me occupied and try to cheer me up. i'm very grateful for that. others of you have been on call for me whenever i needed to talk. you listened when i was just a mess and did everything you could to make me feel better. for all these things i just want to say thank you.

summer time is here

big love is having it's season finale this week. i have come to love this show. despite that i am kind of over the whole roman story-line, it is still an excellent show. i am sad that the last show i watch is having it's finale now. what will i do for entertainment until i get paid? at least the weather is finally getting better. at least i can lay out. i am sad i won't have the carefree kind of summer i had last summer. i didn't have to worry about working every day. it was much more relaxing. but now i have to work every week day. hopefully i'll at least have enough energy to go out and have fun...anything to pass the time and keep my mind off of things. that's what i want most this summer. just like last summer.