A Subtlety I Envy

This time of year always reminds me of going back to school. I used to love all the shopping that went along with it. New supplies like binders and backpacks, and of course the new clothes. A time when you get to go on a mini shopping spree, and the parents would pay for it. Sigh, those were the days.

So naturally when thinking of the new school year, my mind eventually wanders off to the seasons changing. That's one thing I really miss living down in San Diego. Actual seasons. It's not much in the way of weather variety. Northern California had the perfect amount. It wasn't the extreme weather of living on the east coast or further north, but it was enough to where you had a distinct spring, summer, fall, and winter. In San Diego we kind of fade from winter to summer. And winter is only identified by slightly cooler weather. And maybe rain a couple of times. I miss the changing leaves, and the actual thunderstorms of Sacramento. Not that I'd want snow and stuff like that. But sometimes it's nice to get cozy in the winter with a fire and a good movie or book, cuddling up with that certain someone, and hearing the rain on the roof.

When Argentinian and I have gone up for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas the last couple of years, it's a nice change. It feels more like Christmas when it's cold out. That's a second reason I'm a little bummed this baby is coming on or around Christmas (aside from having to share his birthday with Christmas. Torture for any child). It'll be the first time I don't spend Christmas with my family. Instead I'll be down here in San Diego, and I don't know that any family besides the two of us will be around. That's slightly disappointing. I sometimes secretly (well, it was a secret) hope that the baby will come a tiny bit early (as long as he's healthy), so we can make a trip up there for Christmas. I'd suffer the drive with a newborn. Wow... I really digressed there... Anyway, I always love going back up there in the colder months and getting to see the effects (affects?) of fall and winter.

Major digression: The Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You song just came up on my iPod, and it reminded me of 10 Things I Hate About You, where Heath Ledger sings it. The beginning of thousands of girls developing a crush on him. I know I can't be the only teenage girl who found his charming "bad boy" character...charming. (Where's a thesaurus when you need one?)



I still can't believe he's dead.

Hi.

So I haven't posted here in forever. I started blogging over at Vox, and so I ended up neglecting this blog. Sorry. But I am alive. And doing rather well, despite what the last few posts are about. I'm happy. I'm moving on with my life.

Let's see...how can I best summarize what I've been up to. I've been going out tons. I went home for Christmas/New Years. Since getting back I've decided not to go out quite so much due to various reasons. I decided I needed to cut back on all of that, cause it wasn't the smartest/healthiest thing to do.

The Argentinian briefly wanted to get back together. Then didn't. All in the matter of a few days. Oh well. Considering I had already been feeling happy without him, it was easy to keep on feeling happy without him. I have kind of given up trying to figure out what will ever happen between us. And I no longer worry whether or not we will get back together. I know either way I will end up being happy.

I'm going on a cruise with some of my friends in April. I'm extremely excited about that. I haven't gone on a real vacation in years it seems like. So, this is very much needed.

I got promoted at work, which I don't know if I mentioned before. I probably did.

I am going up to Sacramento next weekend. I am looking forward to that as well.

Well, that's all I can think of, though obviously a ton of other stuff has happened. Some I just don't to post here since everyone I know in real life has this blog address, and that is partly why I started posting over at Vox. Some anonymity. But I promise I'm going to be posting here a lot more often from now on.

Holiday Spirit(less)

Well, the holidays are almost here. Practically the Holiday Season, within the next few weeks, I suppose. This is always my favorite time of the year. But this year? Not looking forward to it so much. Why? Because he will not be there. Being alone on during the holiday season has never been a particular problem of mine. Less gifts to buy, which in turn means more money saved. I barely manage to get through the gift buying as it is. Not that it's about the money. But with family and friends around, it doesn't usually bother me that I don't have that Special Someone there with me. But this year I'm already dreading it. I already feel that slightly heavier loneliness. We won't be driving up to my mom's house together. We had such fantastic talks during those drives. About the future. How we wanted to raise children. Our dreams. We won't be doing that next year. No spending New Year's Eve together, and having that first kiss of the year. All these things that I just assumed that we'd be doing every year for the rest of our lives, we aren't going to be doing. And all of that has me just not looking forward to this upcoming holiday season. Cause I know that I'm going to just end up thinking about him so much. It happened during Halloween, so why not these more significant holidays?

(Sorry this post sounds like such a downer. I swear I'm trying to post more positive stuff from now on. Part of the healing process or something: not so much focusing on the negative.)

All Hallows Eve

Last night was Halloween. I wasn't planning to go out. As much as I am trying to make myself go out and do things I wasn't necessarily in the mood to go out til all hours of the night (or morning, as the case may be). But I at the last minute decided to accept an invitation from a friend, bonus that he said that he and his friends weren't going to be staying out too late. I guess a benefit of hanging out with other people who work. So I went over to said friend's house, and we hitched a ride out to PB with one of his other friends. I am grateful she had room for me. So after a little bit of pre-partying at yet another friend's house, we headed out to our destination. It turned out to be pretty fun. It wasn't the crazy packed experience of bars or halloween parties past, but it was fun in it's own right. I was glad I went out. The people were all super nice, though I had met some of them at a Halloween party we had gone to last year. So it was fun. I had a good time. And I even managed to get almost enough sleep.

my valentines day so far

this year my valentines day started off well. i woke up and cuddled up with the argentinian as long as i could before having to get ready for work. i really didn't want to get up. i felt (and still do) so tired. things went a little downhill from there. there was insane traffic on my way to work. a normally 10 min drive took me 45+ minutes, which caused me to run out of gas. i then had to walk to the nearest gas station from half way up the offramp. upon reaching said gas station, i learned that one of those gallon container things costs $15. i had exactly $15 with me. i could not afford both the gas, and the container to hold it in. perfect. i then have to call my boyfriend to come save me, which he does, even though he is working on homework, and will be late for class. he really is the best. i couldn't have a better guy to be my "valentine". so now, i'm at work, where i really don't want to be. but at least i have tonight to look forward to.

you're such a gamer

so over the thanksgiving holiday, when i was up in sacramento, i experienced something new. that new thing was the nintendo wii. after waiting what seemed like hours for my brother to get it all set up and updated, we (my brothers, s-i-l, argentinian and me. and later on my mom) all sad down for some fun. you get to create little game people that look like you. so we each took our turn, disagreeing over what our height, eyes, or hair should look like (i swear they were going to have me look like a baby next to all of them). one of the cool things, is it comes with this sports game that lets you pick from like four or five different sports, and it's really realistic as far as the little character of you moving the same as the real you does. it was also super hilarious to see my mom playing the tennis game. she gets so into it, practically running around the family room like it was a tennis court (even after you tell her she can really just move her hand/arm around). every time my mom plays video games with us it cracks me up. we had one of those fighting type games before, like mortal kombat or whatever, and we got my mom to play. she actually beat us sometimes. she's better than you'd think.

the single person's new year's?

so i've heard a lot recently how halloween is "the single person's new year's" and i wasn't sure i bought into it. sure, last year i had had a more exciting and fun halloween then i had in years, but that didn't mean i wouldn't have just as much fun as last year this time around.

as many know, halloween is a time when girls can dress up as whatever, scandalous (see above) or not, and no one really says anything (except for maybe the girls' mothers). i suppose that is part of the fun of halloween. no judgement. also, upholding the thought that halloween is the single's new year's, are tales of rampant hook-ups on halloween. i've never really been one for the random halloween hook-up myself. but, to each his own. where there are parties and drinking, it is bound to happen.

despite all these thoughts, i never really thought of halloween that way. that is, until this year. don't get me wrong. i had a lot of fun going out to a few parties this weekend. but, it was definitely different than last year. first clue, when i was thinking i'd just wear my costume from last year since i couldn't find anything on friday night, the argentinian was not too keen on the idea. he agreed with my mother about the costume (please note it wasn't as bad as the one pictured above or anything). pressed for time, i ended up going in a costume i was less than thrilled with. but at least i was able to pull something together more decent by the next night's round of parties. also, going to halloween parties with your boyfriend or girlfriend just has a different feel. you're not one of the single's running around in your skimpy little costume, flirting with the cute boys. you're the one who found a costume that can incorporate a jacket so you don't freeze to death, cause you know you have someone to make out with no matter how you are dressed.

halloween: work edition

today we had a halloween celebration at work. each little "pod" was decorated as a different theme. my group was disneyland (pictures once i get them). my ride was the matterhorn. there are judges for individual costume, and for the group as a whole. apparently our group has a fairly good chance of winning the group one. i can say that i agree with that. i think we did a good job. i'll post if we won later.

halloween

so the halloween parties are all over with for the year. unless i actually make it out on the night of halloween. but with having to work the next day, i'm not so sure that that is going to happen. plus, i feel so old lately that it doesn't aid me in going out on week nights. i don't know if i should fight against this, or settle into my old age and find a good book to settle into bed with. but that is a topic for a different post. we (the argentinian and i) made it to three parties over the course of the weekend. though one was only for a very short time. it was fun. he was some sort of monk, but like a gansta looking one. and i was in a catholic school uniform.i got to see a friend on friday that i haven't seen in a while, like a couple months. so that was nice. hopefully i'll see him a little more often. i should be better about that. saturday we went to some parties with this other couple that were being thrown by some of the argentinian's friends. four vodka/oj's, a lost earring, finally finding my earring, waiting for a car to be cool enough to start, falling asleep in the back seat, and the evening was over. after the parties, we just fell into bed and went right to sleep, and proceeded to not do much the rest of the weekend. i feel so old sometimes. like when staying out til 12 or 1 in the morning, and then i'm tired the next day. so sad.