Putting Off Work One Hour At A Time

New Shop

2008-10-16T23:29:00.000-07:00

I've opened up a shop on Etsy. So far, I've only listed one item. But more is coming! Check it out: http://kokorodesigns.etsy.com I hope you like it :)

It's been a while

2008-10-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

For the baby's room:

Me, at 28 weeks and 5 days (taken last night):

24 weeks

2008-09-06T14:29:00.001-07:00

Here are the pictures I took this morning. Technically at 24 weeks and 2 days.

These last few weeks have been going by so fast. I can't believe it is already September. Penguin will be here before we know it. We're still trying to decide on a name. So far we haven't had much luck with names that we both like. I don't know why boy names are so much harder. Last night I thought I had finally thought of the perfect name, until Argentinian pointed out to me that they (first and middle) were both city names. SO... I feel like I have a first name (well...maybe. it hasn't been agreed upon yet), and we still need a middle name too.

Other news, my mom will be coming to visit us next weekend, which is also my birthday (Friday). So that should be fun. I haven't seen her since the wedding, so it's been a while. So far we're planning to get some stuff for the baby taken care of, which will be nice. I just hope I have the energy for it.

Fast

2008-09-04T13:41:00.000-07:00

This week has been going by pretty fast. I think it was because of the long weekend, and I had one less day I had to be at work.

Yesterday was my doctor's appointment. I'm now officially 24 weeks! These last few weeks seem to have gone by quickly. I mean, as individual days or whatever, slow, but as far as the pregnancy is concerned, it seems like it was just last week i had hit the halfway mark of 20 weeks. Now I'm a whole month past that. Crazy. The appointment went well, and we got our forms and everything for pre-registration at the hospital. As well as some brochures and everything to read through about what the hospital offered, and all of that. We are going to try to sign up sometime soon for a childbirth class, so that should be fun. I've begun to notice how big I've gotten. I don't always notice just looking down. But every once and a while, like last weekend when we went shopping, I catch my reflection from the side. Man! I'm bigger than I thought. And it's just going to keep on getting bigger.

Baby Moving

2008-08-22T15:59:00.001-07:00

Ok, here's the video I was talking about earlier. It's not the best. But, unless I manage to capture something better, it will have to do. It's pretty much on the left hand side of my stomach, so focus there. There's about two different times you see him move around. Excuse the Shear Genius playing in the background.

21 Weeks

2008-08-22T09:44:00.000-07:00

These were taken last weekend. Not too much of a difference from last time, I don't think. But, I think I just don't notice the growing as much as others maybe. Everything is going well. I tried to take a video last night (along with some new pictures) of the baby moving. Maybe I'll try to upload that at some point.

Swear I Won't Miss A Beat, Cause I Never Have Before

2008-08-18T15:54:00.000-07:00

This weekend was pretty fun and relaxing. We went to Argentinian's work lunch thing on Saturday, which was was on the USS Midway. It was kind of interesting, even though I'm not much into military/ships/war history for the most part. After that we spent a lot of the day doing laundry at the laundromat since we (ok....mostly me) had a lot to do. It took us a few hours, but eventually we got everything we took with us done. That night after we were done we must not have done anything of note, because I can't remember what we did. I think just grabbed some dinner, and watched some tv.

Sunday we ended up sleeping in very late, til about noon. After making lunch and lying around the house for a while, Argentinian took me to get some ice cream. Very delicious, especially on a rather hot day like yesterday. After finishing up our ice cream we decided to head over to Babies R Us to pick out some stuff for the baby we wanted. We decided on several things like a crib, stoller, and bedding, among other things. There are so many things that are just so cute. It's hard not to want to buy a million outfits, they are all so cute. So, we got a few things taken care of for the baby, which is good. It feels like the months are quickly slipping by us. Before we know it, he will be here.

A Subtlety I Envy

2008-08-15T14:06:00.000-07:00

This time of year always reminds me of going back to school. I used to love all the shopping that went along with it. New supplies like binders and backpacks, and of course the new clothes. A time when you get to go on a mini shopping spree, and the parents would pay for it. Sigh, those were the days.

So naturally when thinking of the new school year, my mind eventually wanders off to the seasons changing. That's one thing I really miss living down in San Diego. Actual seasons. It's not much in the way of weather variety. Northern California had the perfect amount. It wasn't the extreme weather of living on the east coast or further north, but it was enough to where you had a distinct spring, summer, fall, and winter. In San Diego we kind of fade from winter to summer. And winter is only identified by slightly cooler weather. And maybe rain a couple of times. I miss the changing leaves, and the actual thunderstorms of Sacramento. Not that I'd want snow and stuff like that. But sometimes it's nice to get cozy in the winter with a fire and a good movie or book, cuddling up with that certain someone, and hearing the rain on the roof.

When Argentinian and I have gone up for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas the last couple of years, it's a nice change. It feels more like Christmas when it's cold out. That's a second reason I'm a little bummed this baby is coming on or around Christmas (aside from having to share his birthday with Christmas. Torture for any child). It'll be the first time I don't spend Christmas with my family. Instead I'll be down here in San Diego, and I don't know that any family besides the two of us will be around. That's slightly disappointing. I sometimes secretly (well, it was a secret) hope that the baby will come a tiny bit early (as long as he's healthy), so we can make a trip up there for Christmas. I'd suffer the drive with a newborn. Wow... I really digressed there... Anyway, I always love going back up there in the colder months and getting to see the effects (affects?) of fall and winter.

Major digression: The Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You song just came up on my iPod, and it reminded me of 10 Things I Hate About You, where Heath Ledger sings it. The beginning of thousands of girls developing a crush on him. I know I can't be the only teenage girl who found his charming "bad boy" character...charming. (Where's a thesaurus when you need one?)

I still can't believe he's dead.

Movement

2008-08-13T21:59:00.000-07:00

Argentinian finally felt Penguin moving around this last weekend. I tried to wake him up Saturday night when Penguin was literally doing somersaults or something in there, and you could not only feel the rolling, but could see it. Very strange. But cool. Anyway, I was unable to rouse him from his deep sleep. But the next morning, after breakfast, I kept Argentinian near me on the couch so he could feel the little guy kicking. He becomes rather active about 10 minutes or so after I eat a meal. So he finally felt a good strong kick from him.

Oops...

2008-08-13T17:20:00.001-07:00

I don't think I ever posted any of the ultrasound photos, even though I totally meant to. So, without further ado, some of the very first photos of Penguin.

New

2008-08-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

So the green was starting to hurt my eyes. It literally was an eye sore. And since I want to keep this blog more up to date, I figured, it's time for a new look. So, I hope you like it. For now, I think this is how it will stay.

It was all in the stars...

2008-08-13T13:44:00.001-07:00

Looks like I was destined to work in this industry, according to this article on MSN:

Virgo
Happiest when serving others, Virgo thrives as a doctor, nurse, and, with your love for small animals, veterinary medicine. You also have considerable writing skills, and with your highly retentive mind, you'd be a fine editor, researcher, or critic. Majoring in communication would open countless doors for your brand of perfectionism and productivity.

I do really love writing, and wish I did that more for a living. I'm hoping to get into some freelance type stuff over the next few months. I did want to be a doctor (OBGYN), but realized I just didn't want to be in school for that long. Plus, as much as I find biology interesting, chemistry is definitely a nemeses of mine.

19 Weeks

2008-08-04T11:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm about half way through the pregnancy now. About 19.5 weeks. This is a picture I took a few days ago:

The little guy (Penguin) is definitely moving around in there. His kicks are getting strong enough that I even felt them on the outside over the weekend. Sadly, the Argentinian didn't get to feel them. Whenever he came over to feel Penguin either stopped moving, or kicked too softly that only I could feel it. Hopefully it'll happen soon enough that he can experience that.

We went up to Pasadena this past weekend to hang out with my family. It was quite a group of us, each with significant others. Eight total. Next year, we'll have the baby with us, so it'll be even more of a production. But, I always look forward to this yearly trip. It's a fun thing we started doing. We went to a comedy show on Saturday evening after eating dinner. Once the show was over everyone (sans dad and his girlfriend) went walking around Old Pasadena looking for some food and drinks (non-alcoholic for me obviously). We ended up going to a place called Hot Wings, as that was the only place that wasn't to "sit down restaurant-like" that was still open. One of my brothers ordered a glass of wine, which everyone laughed at. I mean, who goes to a place called Hot Wings, and then drinks wine (along with some french fries)? But we all had fun until we started getting a little tired and headed back to our hotel. Sunday, after breakfast, we went to the shop my dad's girlfriend owns and shopped around for a little bit. It's a cute little shop with little gift type things and books and all of that. Shortly after that, we split up (my brothers with their wife and girlfriend to the airport, us making the drive home) to head back home. My air conditioning in my car decided to break, so it was a pretty hot drive. I was dying during the first part of the drive home. Luckily I fell asleep so that I slept through most of the hot part. When I woke up, we were only about 20 minutes from home. So much cooler down here. But, I still need to get the AC fixed. I don't know if I'll be able to make it through the rest of the summer without it.

Loathes and Loves on Tuesday 7.29.08

2008-07-29T17:12:00.001-07:00

Loathes:

- that it seems that, after semi writing out what we spend each month, we should have much more money left over each month
- that it's only Tuesday
- feeling so tired and congested
- being hungry (easily fixable, I know)

Loves:

- that I'll be seeing my family this weekend
- feeling the baby move
- baby clothes
- work day finally over
- actually having the energy to consider going to the gym tonight
- skin really clearing up after initial rush of pregnancy hormones

Recent Recap

2008-07-29T16:56:00.001-07:00

It's been about a week or so since I've updated this blog. Hopefully I'll keep getting better and better at updating this one. This past weekend we had some of Argentinian's relatives staying with us. It was really nice and fun to meet them. They were so sweet and bought us a video camera for our wedding gift. They also bought a couple outfits for the baby.

I've been battling a cold or something (I hope it's not allergies, as that takes away all hope it will go away soon) the last 5 or so days. I am finally able to breath comfortably through my nose. Though one is still stuffy a majority of the time. But, it is at least getting better.

This weekend we are going to Pasadena to meet up with my family (well, sans mother) for our what seems to be annual weekend together. At least with my dad.

The pregnancy is going well. I felt the baby move the other night in a "I'm sure that's the baby and not my stomach digesting" sort of way. It was....strange. But great. I've never felt anything like that before (obviously). And I can't wait to feel it more regularly. So far I haven't felt anything so definite again. But I'm sure as the weeks go on I will.

Month

2008-07-21T11:45:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been a month since Argentinian and I have gotten married. And it's going wonderfully. It unfortunately seems our honeymoon will likely be put off for a while longer, as we are expecting a baby (a boy!) at the end of the year, Christmas to be exact, and I think I rather save up my days for that. We can always take a vacation. My father has already offered to watch the little guy when we decide to go on one. Very nice.

So... nothing else besides the big news of a baby to report. We went last Friday for an ultrasound, and everything looks like it's going well. The kid even appears to have a cute profile. We're both very excited, and can't wait to meet him. I am hoping these next five or so months go by quickly. I just want to get to the fun part (though I know it will be tons of work) of actually having the baby here with us.

Wedding Recap

2008-06-27T14:47:00.000-07:00

The Argentinian and I are officially married! I just realized that I never posted anything about that here on this blog. It's tough maintaining two blogs. Let me tell you. I always end up posting more on my anonymous blog since I feel like there's more of a community (or something) there. This poor original blog has been rejected. I feel so ashamed. Anyway... on to the details

Well, the wedding went just wonderfully. We got married downtown at the Westgate hotel, and I would recommend them to anyone wanting to get married in the San Diego area. They were so wonderful and helpful throughout the whole process.

Anyway...I (and the Argentinian) couldn't have imagined a day more perfect. We didn't see each other at all before the ceremony, so it was a complete surprise how each other was going to look. Right before walking down the aisle, while standing outside the doors, holding on to my dad's arm, my heart suddenly started beating so fast. I don't know the last time I felt my heart beat so hard. But by the time I reached the end, and was up there with the Argentinian, any nerves had subsided, and I was just so excited. He looked so handsome. The ceremony was nice, not too long, not too short. We couldn't stop smiling and staring in each other's eyes when we got the chance. The whole night went by so quickly, looking back. What was actually 7 or 8 hours felt like 2 hours. I can't wait to see the pictures. So far we have a few from his sister that she took, and those turned out really nice.

My New Favorite Drug

2008-04-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting on a plane right now flying up to Sacramento. I leave from there tomorrow afternoon for my cruise. And I just got to say, I am loving the Xanax prescription I got for the multitude of flights I am having over the next couple weeks. So far I’ve handled take off (always nerve wrecking for me), a decent amount of turbulence, and flying through very hazy/foggy conditions, and haven’t even felt tense. Sure, in my mind I kind of have a little I hope we don’t crash type of thought. But very minor. I’ve been happily snapping pictures out the window, fooling around with some pictures to change effects, and, of course, writing blogs to post once I am again connected to the internet. If anyone has a fear of flying I 100% recommend you take some Xanax. It will make your life so much better. Oh…more turbulence. Didn’t even phase me.

Birthday!

2008-03-29T16:09:00.001-07:00

So I haven't been around much lately. A friend died, and that sort of put me in a funk for a while. Then I've just been busy with stuff, and, well, the blog got neglected.

Last night was The Argentinian's birthday party. It was a lot of fun. More enjoyable than the other parties we've gone to, mostly just cause I knew the majority of the people. Or maybe I've just gotten more outgoing at parties, so that I don't mind the unknowns so much. Who knows. But it was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, the cops got called cause of noise I guess. Which, even though I was having a lot of fun, and could've kept having a good time, I was kind of glad that it meant we'd be going to sleep soonish. haha. I'm so old! But it was really fun getting to meet some new people, and seeing some others that I haven't seen in a really long time.

moving!

2008-03-14T11:15:00.000-07:00

Ugh... I typed up a whole post, and it got deleted. How annoying...

ANYWAY...

I'm moving. I found a new apartment, and I will be moving in on April 19th. Just a week (or a little less) than when I get back from my cruise. I am so excited. It is not only closer to the beach (which is my main reason for moving...I really didn't want to endure the heat of living so far inland. Plus, who doesn't want to live close enough to walk to the beach?), but it is also closer to work, and close to the Argentinian. We could walk to each other's houses. So, even though it's more expensive than where I live now, I will probably be saving a fair amount of money on gas since the places I go most are going to be much closer. Plus, I think the extra money is totally worth it to have a place I can call my own, roommate free. I've just really been craving having a place that is just mine, and I can do and decorate it as I please. Very exciting. I'll try to post some pictures once I get everything all settled and all. Just a month away. I can't wait!

Update On Things

2008-03-08T21:57:00.000-08:00

Well, kind of a lot has been going on. Which is partly why I haven't been updating very regularly (like I said I would be). So...here's what's new...

Biggest news...the Argentinian and I have gotten back together. Not engaged back together, but, dating back together. I'm sitting on his bed as I type this, and he is learning a song on the guitar that I like. Very sweet. Anyway...we've been slowly seeing each other over the last few weeks, talking, slowly ramping up to the official boyfriend/girlfriend status. I couldn't be happier. So if you have something negative to say, I'd prefer you keep it to yourself. I know I'm taking a risk. And I know I could end up getting hurt again. But, I don't care. I think that things will turn out much differently this time around. Already things are so great.

Lesser news...I am taking on some new stuff at work. This is good since I have been having way too much time on my hands the past couple months. But at the same time it makes me a little nervous since some of this is stuff I'll be managing all on my own, which is something new for me. So, scary and exciting all at the same time.

The cruise is coming up pretty fast. Just about four weeks from now. I am SO looking forward to that. I just wish the Argentinian was coming with me. But, I know I will still enjoy it. How can you not enjoy spending a week in the Caribbean?

Hmm... well, I think that's about it that I have to say for now.

FINALLY

2008-01-31T20:44:00.000-08:00

LOST is finally starting tonight. I thought it was starting at 8, but turns out this first hour is just a recap. Which...eh...I was really hoping for a 2 hour episode. But I'm so excited for the new season, I don't even care.

I 100% agree

2008-01-16T16:02:00.001-08:00

Clowns are creepy...

Hi.

2008-01-14T19:51:00.000-08:00

So I haven't posted here in forever. I started blogging over at Vox, and so I ended up neglecting this blog. Sorry. But I am alive. And doing rather well, despite what the last few posts are about. I'm happy. I'm moving on with my life.

Let's see...how can I best summarize what I've been up to. I've been going out tons. I went home for Christmas/New Years. Since getting back I've decided not to go out quite so much due to various reasons. I decided I needed to cut back on all of that, cause it wasn't the smartest/healthiest thing to do.

The Argentinian briefly wanted to get back together. Then didn't. All in the matter of a few days. Oh well. Considering I had already been feeling happy without him, it was easy to keep on feeling happy without him. I have kind of given up trying to figure out what will ever happen between us. And I no longer worry whether or not we will get back together. I know either way I will end up being happy.

I'm going on a cruise with some of my friends in April. I'm extremely excited about that. I haven't gone on a real vacation in years it seems like. So, this is very much needed.

I got promoted at work, which I don't know if I mentioned before. I probably did.

I am going up to Sacramento next weekend. I am looking forward to that as well.

Well, that's all I can think of, though obviously a ton of other stuff has happened. Some I just don't to post here since everyone I know in real life has this blog address, and that is partly why I started posting over at Vox. Some anonymity. But I promise I'm going to be posting here a lot more often from now on.

Booze and Schmooze

2007-11-06T07:44:00.000-08:00

Last night I had an Editorial Board Meeting for work. Which was rather dull. But short at the same time. When I first arrived I met with my coworker in the lobby and we went to get a drink at the bar. Shortly after ordering our boss, and her boss, walked up to us. Awkward looks exchanged between my coworker and I. Caught drinking before a meeting. Oops.

After the meeting was a reception that had an open bar (not just wine and beer as I had feared), and some pretty amazing food. So we continued to drink, and occasionally talk to an editor or someone like that. It was primarily like a fancy party. The food was so good I wish I had stolen some to take home and eat today.

I am having the hardest time getting out of bed this morning. Ugh... I guess I need to finally get up and get ready. I wish I could just lay in bed all day, and watch movies. So relaxing.

Weekend Update

2007-11-05T08:31:00.000-08:00

So this weekend was pretty fun. I drove up to Dana Point on Friday night and stayed with my friend and her husband. It was a little hard at first, cause as a fairly recently married couple, I felt I could see parts of their lives that could've been mine. But I didn't let myself dwell on it. Didn't want to be a downer.

Saturday morning, or afternoon actually, we went up to this apple picking place (me and the married couple). That was fun. We picked apples as well as made some cider. I haven't been to a place like that in years. So it was a nice fall-like activity.

Saturday night I met up with an old friend to go get some drinks. We went to dinner, where he ate and I actually just got a drink. After that we drove around Redlands looking for a suitable bar. We finally ended up at The Boiler Room, and then stayed there for a few hours. We had a really fun time. He's a fun drinking partner, so it usually ends up being enjoyable.

Then this morning, Sunday, I went back to the other friend's house (the married one) and hung out there and we made a pie. That was fun. She's really into making pies I guess, so it was fun to learn how to do that, I've never done that before. We used the apples that we had picked the day before.

After that, I just drove home and have been wasting time on the internet for the last few hours. I should've done laundry or something for the week, but I'm just so unmotivated to do something like that. Tomorrow I guess...

Holiday Spirit(less)

2007-11-01T18:16:00.000-07:00

Well, the holidays are almost here. Practically the Holiday Season, within the next few weeks, I suppose. This is always my favorite time of the year. But this year? Not looking forward to it so much. Why? Because he will not be there. Being alone on during the holiday season has never been a particular problem of mine. Less gifts to buy, which in turn means more money saved. I barely manage to get through the gift buying as it is. Not that it's about the money. But with family and friends around, it doesn't usually bother me that I don't have that Special Someone there with me. But this year I'm already dreading it. I already feel that slightly heavier loneliness. We won't be driving up to my mom's house together. We had such fantastic talks during those drives. About the future. How we wanted to raise children. Our dreams. We won't be doing that next year. No spending New Year's Eve together, and having that first kiss of the year. All these things that I just assumed that we'd be doing every year for the rest of our lives, we aren't going to be doing. And all of that has me just not looking forward to this upcoming holiday season. Cause I know that I'm going to just end up thinking about him so much. It happened during Halloween, so why not these more significant holidays?

(Sorry this post sounds like such a downer. I swear I'm trying to post more positive stuff from now on. Part of the healing process or something: not so much focusing on the negative.)

All Hallows Eve

2007-11-01T06:26:00.000-07:00

Last night was Halloween. I wasn't planning to go out. As much as I am trying to make myself go out and do things I wasn't necessarily in the mood to go out til all hours of the night (or morning, as the case may be). But I at the last minute decided to accept an invitation from a friend, bonus that he said that he and his friends weren't going to be staying out too late. I guess a benefit of hanging out with other people who work. So I went over to said friend's house, and we hitched a ride out to PB with one of his other friends. I am grateful she had room for me. So after a little bit of pre-partying at yet another friend's house, we headed out to our destination. It turned out to be pretty fun. It wasn't the crazy packed experience of bars or halloween parties past, but it was fun in it's own right. I was glad I went out. The people were all super nice, though I had met some of them at a Halloween party we had gone to last year. So it was fun. I had a good time. And I even managed to get almost enough sleep.

2007-10-28T11:49:00.001-07:00

Last night, for the first time since this whole break up ordeal, I laughed. A real, genuine laugh. For the span of a few hours, some old friends were able to take my mind truly off the whole reason I came home for the weekend to begin with. Sure, today it's back to feeling sad, and missing him. It's hard to deal with the fact that I think this is now officially the longest I've ever gone without seeing him since we met. It's hard to deal with all of this. But for a brief, fleeting amount of time, I was able to take my mind off of it. To laugh. To feel happy. For that, I am grateful.

A Feeling of Calm

2007-10-25T17:15:00.000-07:00

At some point this afternoon the cloud that had been hanging over me the whole evening before, and the day so far, had lifted. It felt like this feeling of peace, of calm, came over me. I'm not sure why. But I suddenly felt like everything was going to be ok. Not in a "Don't worry, you'll find someone" way. But in a "Don't worry. Things will work out between you two. Just focus on better-ing yourself, and it will all work out". I know that this could all be some cruel joke. But I really don't think so. I really hope it isn't. I feel like if I'm just patient enough, and that I give him the time he needs, that things will work out eventually. This may prove foolish. But for now, I'm holding onto this feeling. This feeling of peace or calm is nice. I've really been praying about this, and thinking about this a lot. So I think things will be ok. I still know I can't count on it 100%, but this feeling for now makes me...happy. Happy to feel content that this is just a little bump in the road. So just don't rain on my parade, no matter how naive it seems.

Memories

2007-10-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

Last night was rather hard. Stumbling across, and then reading, a card from our anniversary (the day he proposed) was difficult. Ever since I've felt like I'm just in this funk. This black cloud hanging over my head. Not that I was fantastic before, but at least I wasn't wanting to cry all the time.

I've managed to not wear my ring all the time. Though I still keep it with me at all times. It hangs around a chain on my neck. I'm not ready to not have it with me. To be completely separated. I still wear it on my finger sometimes at home. My hand feels bare without it.

It's strange. When we first got engaged, it felt weird to wear that ring. Aside from looking at it all the time, I could physically feel the ring on my finger. It felt right to wear it, but I wasn't used to it. Now that I'm not wearing it, I feel bare without it. Now my finger feels odd without the ring on. Today on the way to work I noticed I had accidentally put the ring (not engagement) I was wearing on the same finger as my engagement. My mind's been wired to wear it on my left hand. Now it feels odd to be wearing a ring on my right hand.

Life As I Know It

2007-10-22T10:20:00.001-07:00

The last few days have, obviously, been difficult. I went up to a friend's house on Saturday, after saying by to him while moving his stuff out. It was very hard, saying goodbye. I still love him dearly, and I still hope that he will eventually change his mind. I spoke with him on Sunday evening. I had called him cause he had called a friend of mine. I was wondering why. He had apparently told my friend how wonderful I was, and that I'd find someone great someday. I told him how I had already found someone great. Him. That he is the one I wanted to be with. Even if we never got married, as long as I could be with him, that is what I wanted. Even if we were just dating now, and not engaged, to be with him. He said, "Just give me time." So that gave me a little bit of hope. But he also said eventually I'd be ok. So I am obviously trying to not get my hopes up about anything. I don't want to think we'll be getting back together when he has no plans to ever do so.

Do you know what one of the hardest things is? Sleeping in an empty bed. When we first started spending the night with each other, I used to not sleep so well. He was a close sleeper. Cuddling. I was not used to that. But then as time went on, especially when we started living together, it became hard to sleep alone. When I'd go home for the weekend, or something like that, it would take me a while to fall asleep. I find myself cuddling up with pillows to make it easier. But my sleep still isn't the same. I miss having that person in the bed with me. It makes me feel...so alone.

Blank and Empty

2007-10-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

Today so far has been both extremely hard, yet a little better in the crying department. I've started to tell some people, now that I'm fairly certain it is over. I feel so...empty. So blank. I don't get pleasure out of anything. I can't find anything I feel like doing. TV does not hold my interest, no matter what I find is on. Reading through some blogs on the internet does not help either. Nothing does.

Today he will finish getting all of his things. I know it's masochistic or something, but I would like to be here. I would like to see him just one more time, even if it is just for a few minutes. I do not know when I will see him again. Weeks, months, who knows? I know I hope that things will change. That we can go back to at least dating. But I don't know. I don't at this point have much faith in that, as much as I hope it happens. I obviously can't force anything. Just pray that what is best happens. I truly believe being with him is what is best, what is meant to be. It is especially hard because we are not breaking up under any bad conditions. We still care enormously for one another. Still love each other. So I can't just call him a jerk or something and be angry, and get over it. Instead I just sit and wonder what my life will be like without him. Which brings me back to feeling so empty. Everywhere, there are memories of him. Even my room, since we lived together. There is not many places that I will be able to go that will not have some memory of him, or of us. That kind of sucks, quite frankly.

I just want to thank all my friends and family, who have so far been so fabulous to me. So caring, and so kind. Though ultimately I am the one who has to deal with this, and get through it, knowing that you all are there for me helps. It doesn't take away the pain, but it helps to know that I have you to lean on. You to call up and cry to. To drive 2 hours round to come pick me up and take me back to your house so I won't have to drive myself while being so upset, so I won't be in this empty room tonight, all alone. Noticing the absence of his things.

Worst. Day. Ever.

2007-10-19T19:15:00.000-07:00

It's over. I don't know if he'll ever change his mind. But as of now, it is over. I poured my heart out to him. I fought for him. I did my best. Now there is nothing to do. Nothing but to try and accept it. As much as I want to hope that someday (next week, next month, next year, whenever) he will change his mind, I know I can't live like that. I'll never even heal a little bit with those thoughts. I know I most likely won't ever be completely over this. I know he will ALWAYS be in my heart. He will always be the one that "got away".

He said that it boiled down to the fact that he just wasn't ready to be married. That he just wants time for himself, and to do whatever he wants. And to just spend his time however he wants. This, for those who were wondering, was one of the problems that we were having. I know I was not eactly handling stuff the best, him trying to have a bit more independence. So I held on tighter. So he pulled away more. But he says none of this matters. It's all about him not wanting to get married now. Not anytime soon. Which I felt often. That everyone I talked to and saw the situation felt. So I can't really cry "bullshit" on this one. I can't say that he's probably lying. Cause I've worried this was the case for a while. I can't be mad. I can only be accepting, and trying to get over it. It will be a really long process.

Guess I Spoke To Soon...

2007-10-19T05:30:00.000-07:00

All that about how lovely it is to be engaged, I guess it no longer applies to me. Shortly after writing that post (well, a few hours) Fiance came home, and broke off the engagement. All night I've been a wreck. We've been having some issues, which I think I had mentioned earlier. We were making progress, had seen a counselor a handful (maybe 4) of times. Apparently after only those few amounts of sessions with the counselor, he thinks we should be all better. We were getting better. It all feels like some nightmare that I'm going to wake up from. When I finally fell asleep earlier in the evening (well, really morning), I woke up consistantly every hour. And each time I woke up I felt such deep sadness, I don't even know how to describe it. Sadness that he hadn't called me. (Did I really think he would?) And even more about the fact that he wasn't lying in bed next to me. Not now, and possibly not ever again. That I would never again cuddle up with him. It makes me feel SO EMPTY inside. I don't think that I would wish this feeling on anyone. To have these dreams and hopes, to think that you have found that person you will be spending your life with and having children with...and then to have it all ripped away. That's just the worst feeling in the world. And waking up every hour and realizing it over and over sure doesn't make it any easier. So now I am awake. It is five in the morning, and I just can't bear to go back to sleep. But I can't bear to lay awake and think how the most important thing in my world, in my life, is leaving. I pray that he will change his mind. I pray that somehow things will all work out. But that makes me feel foolish.

A Reminder

2007-10-18T17:33:00.000-07:00

I was at a discount store today (Dollar Store...be quiet! Everything is so cheap there!), and the girl who was working the check-out must have noticed my engagement ring. "That's so pretty!" she said. It made me smile. It's not often a complete stranger compliments you on something like that. Friends, family, of course. Plus, they kind of have to say it is pretty. They'd come off like asses if they didn't. So it was kind of nice, and reassuring, when this unexpected compliment came today. But what she said next was even better. "That's so special. I hope it all goes really well for you." (speaking of my engagement, and then marriage, obviously) And I thought, you know what, it is special. Lately I think I've gotten caught up in so many things, which aren't necessarily positive, like work, and the planning, and the are-we-really-fighting-about-this-again? that I sort of lost sight of how special it is that I've found this amazing person that not only do I want to spend my life with him, but he wants to spend his with me. It's amazing. It's fabulous. Not everyone finds that person. So we are lucky to have found each other. Especially factoring that we literally come from opposite sides of the Earth (me - northern hemisphere, him - southern), and still managed to meet.

Perfect Day For Flip Flops

2007-10-17T10:24:00.000-07:00

That title is full of sarcasm. The one cloudy day I wear flip flops this week, and it rains. I've been wearing boots the last few days, and not a drop. So I go ahead and wear sandals, and this. I have bad luck with the weather. At least it is finally starting to feel more fall/winter like. I've been missing the change in seasons.

Changes In The Air

2007-10-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

Lately, I feel some changes in my life. And I don't mean the obvious ones about a promotion, or getting married. These are smaller scale changes. In the small details in my life. Though, I wouldn't doubt that it was maybe possibly related to getting married. It most likely is.

The thing is, is that lately I've been feeling much more domestic. Thinking about decorating, and "Won't it be nice once we have our own place", keeping the house all tidy, and cooking. Yes, that's correct, COOKING. I have never been one to really like cooking. Not because I particularly lack the talent to do so, but mostly out of laziness. I never really felt like going through ALL that time and trouble it takes to prepare most really good meals, just to eat it in about 20 or so minutes. What a waste, I always thought. But lately, I've been getting a little more into it. Finding recipes that sound interesting. Looking forward to an opportunity to try them out. I'm turning into quite the little Housewife-in-training. Now all I need is the house.

set in stone

2007-10-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I dropped off our deposit yesterday. So we are 100% on that date and location. It's a relief to have at least that part taken care of. It was a long time coming. It all went fairly smoothly, as long as you ignore the fact that the women who was helping me (an elderly volunteer), kept trying to give back the necessary forms we needed to turn in. I felt a bit like an ass saying, "Oh, no, you actually are supposed to keep this. We already have a copy... This one too." Especially with someone so...grandmotherly. Oh well, she didn't seemed bothered. I don't think. I also think (though we haven't signed anything yet) that we have found our caterer as well. Who will also be supplying our tables and chairs. I'm kind of glad we only have a certain list of caterers to choose from (it's a historical house we're getting married at, so they have a pre-approved list for you to get your catering from. you can hire someone else, but it seems a bit of a hassle).

I also may have narrowed it down to two bridesmaid's dresses this past weekend. A bridesmaid of mine came down and tried some on, and we narrowed it down to two or three, but mostly just the two. Now I just need to maybe narrow it down and notify everyone. Look how productive on the wedding front I'm being. Amazing

There is a new addition to our little family. A little baby bunny. It is ADORABLE. Really, it is. I even think The Argentinian thought so. Quite the feat, as he took some convincing before I could bring it home. But I'm glad that he finally gave in. I love it. Besides, it's a small and quiet pet. Why not get one?

there's something you don't see every day

2007-10-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

I was at the supermarket last night with The Argentinian buying some drinks and snacks before going home to watch a movie. In the checkout lane next to us was a guy buying a personal sized tub of ice cream. It kind of made me smile to myself, as the stereotype is of a girl sitting at home alone on a Saturday night, eating ice cream (or cake, or some sort of sweet). Not that I think he was sitting at home, pining over some girl. But you never really see a guy just buying a whole tub of ice cream for himself to eat that night.

hello. remember me?

2007-10-13T12:11:00.000-07:00

Wow...I've really just been awful about updating this thing. I partially blame my work, because they sent around this email with their, no joke, blogging policy. So now I'm a little worried to do it there. I should probably just get over it, since I do a number of other things at work I'm not supposed to do.

So a lot has been going on around here. First, I got a promotion at work. So that's exciting. Especially as I had written previously how I needed some sort of change in position, or else I would need to perhaps find another job. Perhaps they read my blog? I hope not. Disasterous.

The Argentinian and I have found a location for our wedding, and thus also have a wedding date. So that is exciting. Next August 10 we will make it official. It is getting me a little bit more excited about the wedding. I've been having some trouble getting into the whole planning excitement for this wedding. Instead I was more just like, "Can we just move on to the marriage part?" So finally booking something (could we have taken any longer? I think not.) helped to make it more real and exciting.

Today one of my bridesmaids is coming down to do some wedding stuff with me. We will be looking at some bridesmaid dresses and seeing if I can find something that I actually like, that isn't crazy expensive. I don't believe in having someone have to buy a dress that is unreasonably price, that they don't even really get to pick. You know?

The Argentinian's mother has come to visit us again. She found a good deal and was able to book it and actually leave like the next day. It's nice to get to spend some more time with her, and getting to know her.

I've also been reconnecting with some old friends lately. For some reason I know all these people that live rather close, but just don't get around to talking or seeing them very often. It really is rather sad, so I am wanting to make more of an effort to maintain those friendships.

Other than that, not much else going on around here.

sigh

2007-09-10T20:57:00.001-07:00

at least she got her make up done by someone other than herself...

25

2007-09-09T12:40:00.000-07:00

In a few short days it will be my birthday. I will be turning 25. I am half way to fifty. One-quarter of the way to 100. Yikes. With each passing year I find my birthdays harder to deal with. This one, 25, seems even more monumental. Like it is the end of youth. The end of having just myself to worry about. I'm sure this is partly due to the impending marriage. But it just seems so...old, or grown up. I remember growing up and when someone was 25 they seemed so together. So in charge of their lives, and like they had it all figured out. I definitely don't feel that way. I feel more put together than I used to, but I am no where close to feeling like I have it all figured out. If anything, lately, I feel the exact opposite. I feel like I've hit a stagnant spot in my life. Obviously my relationship with The Argentinian is going well, and not at a stand-still. But other than that, I just feel like that I want something more. My job, even though I love the people I work with and think they're great, and enjoy working with them, I just feel like in the position I am in right now, there is no more growth for me. I need to either move up to a different position, or move on to another job. But at the same time, the security of the job that I have is nice. Starting somewhere new, for me, is always so nerve wrecking. Having to get to know the new co-workers, getting comfortable enough, all of that. I tend to be a little shy when getting to know new people, especially in a work type situation. I'm not really sure why. Though I have been trying to make efforts to get over that. But, I digress. I just feel like I need more of a challenge in my daily life. I mean, in reality, I spend more time at work then I do at home (waking hours at least). I want something that excites me. Something I can't wait to go in and tackle. And I don't have that for the job I'm at now. I don't have that passion. Maybe I'm just having a quarter life crisis...

Resurgance

2007-08-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

This week has seen a resurgence in The Argentinian and my social lives. We've been going out more frequently than we usually do. Last Friday night we went out just the two of us to get some drinks and a movie. It was nice to just be alone with each other, cause it seemed like we hadn't gone on an actual date, just us, for quite a while. We saw Transformers, which was exactly how I thought it would be. Nothing fantastic, but entertaining enough. We had actually planned to see No Reservations, but it was sold out by the time we were purchasing our tickets. So our options were limited.

Saturday…well, Saturday was so uneventful I can't even think of a single thing we did. Sunday was his company picnic, so we went to a park and did that whole thing for a couple of hours. We had every intention of going to look at this one place for a possible wedding location, but after going home to take just a short nap like we had planned…well…it never happened. A "short nap" turned into an afternoon of lounging around the house and watching DVDs.

On Monday we went to meet up with one of his friends at the AC Lounge, and brought along one of our roommates too. I can't remember the last time we've gone out to a bar during the week. It's been that long. It was fun to go to the AC Lounge again. We hadn't gone there in forever. Side note: right outside is where we actually had "the talk" and became official. So we met up with this guy he knew who is also from Argentina, hence why I thought maybe the roommate might want to come along, just in case some Spanish conversations broke out, and I had no clue what was going on.

Tonight we're going to be meeting up with my cousin that lives up in Orange County. I haven't seen him in a few months, and The Argentinian has never met him. He has the cutest little boy. So I'm glad to get to see him and his family too, as well as introduce them to each other.

Viva Las Vegas!

2007-08-08T10:54:00.001-07:00

So The Argentinian and I are going to Vegas this weekend. It's his first time, so that should be exciting. We're on a bit of a budget, so we aren't staying right on The Strip, but it looks like it's a super nice hotel that we're staying at. I only wish we could have gotten one of the rooms that has a jacuzzi in it. Not that expensive overall, but since we're only going for one night, no point in wasting a ton of money when we're trying to save up money to help pay for the wedding and stuff like that (i.e. moving around the end of the year, needing new furniture, ect). But, I'm still super excited for the weekend. We (all my girl friends) didn't make it on our annual Vegas trip this year, so it'll be nice to still get to go. I'm a little bummed that I am unable to find the stack of cards I have for getting into clubs free…hopefully I'll be able to find them in the next few days. But I'm not holding my breath. We're going to be meeting up with his mom there. Well, her and her friend. I've not taken a trip to Vegas where parents are involved since I was really young. So I'm not too sure what type of activities we'll partake in.

Meeting the In-Laws

2007-08-08T10:52:00.001-07:00

So I met The Argentinian’s mom. The future Mother-In-Law. She’s super nice, and easy going, and easy to get along with. The Argentinian told me that she really likes me, and all of that good stuff, so that’s a relief. I mean, I don’t think a guy’s parent’s have ever hated me or anything, but since we’re getting married, I don’t particularly want her to dislike me. We had dinner a couple times last week, and then this coming week, after she gets back into town, she’ll be staying at the house with us. So, that should be nice. Then, on the 18th, she’s heading back to Argentina. I’m glad that I got a chance to meet at least her before we get married. That would’ve been a little awkward, getting married and never meeting your husband’s family.

Location Hunting

2007-07-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

This weekend I went to look at some churches for the wedding. I narrowed it down to two which the Argentinian and I will go back and look at. There is one that I love the outside a lot more (for pictures, ect.). It has beatiful landscaping, a fountain, and just really pretty. The other I love the inside. It has a huge (I think 75 feet tall) window looking out at a garden or something. So we'll see which one we end up picking. Who knows, we might find a completely different one we love.

Sick

2007-07-24T10:28:00.000-07:00

For the last few days I've been feeling fairly sick. It started on Saturday night after The Argentinian and I went out for dinner. I was feeling a little achey. Soon enough it was 4 am, and I was in the bathroom throwing up. Several times throughout yesterday. I'm still having to deal with a bit of a fever today, but at least I'm not throwing up anymore. But I hate using up two sick days. At least I can relax.

Inevitable

2007-07-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

Well, it had to happen some time. We had our first real fight since getting engaged. I think the air is pretty much cleared by now, but I'm sorry to say I'm still a little upset. It's just exhausting having a fight sometimes.

What's A Girl To Do

2007-07-11T20:47:00.000-07:00

So I've just recently begun to dig into this whole wedding planning process. I must admit, I thought it wouldn't be that difficult, but it seems a lot more confusing than I thought it would be. There's so many options. And then you have to take into account that the groom has his opinions on what he would like. Which does not always coincide with what you want. I'm telling you people, it's no walk in the park.

So far the one thing that I planned to have done, and gave a deadline to my parents and the Argentinian, has not been followed. I wanted to try and get the guest list out of the way. Easy enough, one might think. But not when your fiance doesn't seem to have much interest in sitting and doing it, and your parents say they are busy, but will try and get it done. So the only one who finished is me. That's kind of lame. I even sent a little reminder out to the three of them yesterday. Guess it didn't do much good.

We were actually supposed to set the date by this weekend. Though I think we are pretty close to doing that. And I think we'll be able to manage that one. I hope.

The Thing About Engagement Rings

2007-07-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

So we've been engaged for about a week and a half now. And, sadly, already my engagement ring is showing some wear and tear on the band. I knew it would probably get a little scratched over time, but that was quick. I guess that's the thing about wearing the same piece of jewelry, which has quite the shine to it, 24/7. That, and of course the fact that I was desp desparate to keep it looking perfect, so of course it did not stay in that condition.

best. day. ever.

2007-07-07T15:30:00.000-07:00

On our one year anniversary the Argentinian had a whole day planned for us. We had a lovely breakfast at Cody's in La Jolla before heading down to La Jolla cove to look in the tide pools, as well as lay out on the beach. We layed out for a couple hours before heading up to the Cabrillo National Monument to exchange our gifts. The Argentinian gave me a bottle of perfume (which smells lovely), and I gave him a photo album I had made of our first year together (using iPhoto. totally cool and recommended). After a short trip home to get cleaned up and dressed, we headed back out to La Jolla for dinner at Sante's, a great Italian restaurant. After sharing a delicious dinner together we drove up to Mount Soledad to watch the sunset. Shortly after arriving, as the sun began to go down, he got down on his knee and proposed. I of course said "Yes!"

After that, I had to track my mom down at work to tell her the big news. I didn't exactly know which hospital she works at, so on my third try, I finally got ahold of her. After trying to call my dad (and ending up having to wait to talk to him the next day), I called a few friends, and sent out a mass text message.

All in all, it was really the best, most perfect day. He put so much love, thought, and effort into planning it that really made it a memorable day. It's one I'll never forget my whole life.

watch where you're going, asshole!

2007-04-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

i was on my way back to work from the rite aid on the corner when it happened. i was walking along, happily talking on my cell with the argentinian, when an old man was in front of me.

"watch where you're going!" he shouts RIGHT IN MY FACE and keeps walking.

i turn around to look at him, and he then adds "asshole!" that's right, i got berated by an old man. and i was watching where i was going. just cause he's old, i have to change my path? i wanted to swing my bag of crackers and chocolates at him (i'm a healthy snacker, huh?). if i hadn't been on the phone, i'm sure i would've actually gotten into a fight with a old man, each exchanging insults to each other or something.

upon arriving back at my desk i shared my experience with the coworkers. everyone around cracked up at the old senile man. this is one of the reasons i just don't really care for old people. at least the mean kind.

it's times like this, and that other time that i think it's good that i am able to control my anger. cause my first reaction was to put my boyfriend on hold, and be like "WTF?" to this old man. i don't like taking shit from people.

what happens in vegas...

2007-04-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

my boyfriend recently bought me a book. this surprised me for two reasons: he's never bought me a book before, and the subject matter of the book. now, as i said earlier we've been talking a lot more about getting married. so the fact that he bought me a book about weddings was not over the top crazy, but still kind of surprising. it made me feel happy. but, the real thing that surprised me was exactly what book it was.

imagine my surprise. particularly cause the argentinian has never been to vegas, though he does know my love for the city (as long as it is in digestable doses). i unfortunately had to veto the idea of eloping in vegas because my mother would absolutely kill me. and she would be very, very sad. plus i kind of want the whole regular wedding the more i think about it. i want everyone that i care about to be around. i mean, i've never been the girl that has her whole wedding planned out since i was 10. i never saw the point in planning something that seemed so far off. but with the purchase of this book, which i'm still reading cause it has some pretty interesting stuff in there, i realized that i do want the whole wedding thing with all the friends and family, in a church or some equally beautiful place. but i'm still going to hold off on buying wedding planning books, at least until i'm actually engaged.

assault

2007-04-20T09:32:00.000-07:00

so i went over to the other side of my office earlier this morning. i had gone through the elevator lobby instead of walking all the way around (ok, it's not all that far, but i was feeling a little lazy). and as soon as i open the second set of doors to enter the west side of the office i was overwhelmed by someone's cologne/perfume. how can someone put on so much perfume that it stinks up a whole side of an office? just a gentle reminder to myself to always do just the one spray of perfume. cause even if i don't smell it, others will. no need to make everyone sick with the smell of my fragrance.

wait...so things are pretty serious?

2007-04-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

ever since i've started telling people about my impending trip to argentina with the argentinian i've gotten the same reaction from almost everyone. "wow. things must be pretty serious then, huh?" or "are you guys going to get married?" or something along those lines. well, yes, things are serious. and yes, we do plan to eventually marry. we've been together for almost a year. is it that surprising?

but i really don't get why me going to meet his family always gets this reaction. i mean, it wasn't that big of a deal when he came up to meet my family. i guess the distance is something. i guess it just surprises me that practically everyone comes to that conclusion. not that i care or anything. it's just kind of odd/funny.

it's not vicoden but...

2007-04-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

i went to see my uncle yesterday for a mysterious medical problem. well, it's more mysterious now than before i went in since he thinks it's a muscle thing why i have pain in my lower back, yet i have not done anything which could cause muscle pain. anyways, i digress. while there i broached the topic of snagging a few xanax for the trip down to south america. which, without any real hesitation, he happily obliged. though he made it clear he was only giving me enough for the trip down and back. man, if you can't score free drug prescriptions off your doctor relatives, then what good are they. i'm kidding! i'm just glad i have something. so for now, the prescription is just sitting in my bag, waiting to be filled. a friend who is flying to costa rica tried to score a few off me, which i was like no way. i'm guarding these babies with my life. there's no way i'll survive the flights there and back without them.

here's to hoping for a vicodin prescription

2007-04-06T18:22:00.000-07:00

well, the ticket has been purchased. for better or worse, i'm flying alone down to argentina. where's the phone number for my local pharmacist?

flying the "friendly" skies

2007-04-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

so the argentinian and i are making plans to fly down and see his family. an important part in our relationship if we are ever going to take the "next step" so to speak. originally we were flying down together on one date. then now, it turns out we will be flying separately on the way down, with him leaving earlier, and then together on the way back up (hopefully). the more i think about this, the more it terrifies me. most people may not know this, but i have a bit of a fear of flying, which sadly gets worse over time instead of better. "how bad could it really be?" you may be asking yourself. well, i've started to get that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach just thinking about the long flight. i get nervous enough on the 1.5 hour flight going back to visit my hometown. this is like a 10+ or more hour flight. most likely over water (the worst kind of flight, cause if the crash doesn't kill me, i'll certainly be eaten by sharks). i was considering an american airlines flight, but after reading this i'm not so sure. that's an awful lot of suspected terrorist acts on those flights near the end. even if no one else died, i think the trauma of that would possibly the final straw in my already waning courage to fly. a connecting flight i would take in argentina has only had two deaths. one is from food poisoning, so i obviously won't eat any in flight food (can you imagine dying just from some stale food? it had to have something pretty bad wrong with it to kill someone). and another is from severe thunderstorms in the area, and the plane crashed shortly after take off. as it is during winter down there when we would be going, that is not the most comforting, but i'm sure i'd just wait for the weather to clear if i was too scared. i think if i end up having to fly alone i'm going to need a benzodiazepines or something to tranquilize me. i don't want to turn into one of those crazies they have to restrain on the flight. ok, i probably wouldn't go all batshit crazy or anything, but i don't think i'd be much fun to sit next to for 10+ hours unmedicated. and those little weak alcohol drinks planes serve are expensive.

high horse

2007-04-03T10:24:00.000-07:00

just cause you do brain research doesn't make me incompetent. i'm sorry if you don't understand what "you will need to sign a copyright agreement" means. that it does, in fact, mean you can not publish that article anywhere else. i will give you that i did not know the starting date of the publication. but don't make it seem like i am incompetent or say rude things like, "well, if you don't know let me talk to someone who does". besides, i offered to transfer you right from the start.

dropping like flies

2007-03-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

so my company is "reorganizing", ie some people will be losing their jobs. and by "some people" i mean people who have the job title that i have. lately quite a few people have "left" the company. the latest was today. she was nice too, i liked her. my boss told me not to worry, it has nothing to do with the "reorganization" that she "left". we'll see...

spring cleaning

2007-03-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

i need to start cleaning things out. as much as it pains me to say it, i think i may have too many clothes. at least for the current amount of space i have i have too many clothes. amd i guess i don't wear all of it. i could afford to get rid of some of it. it's just so hard, cause there's been so many times where i haven't worn something in a while, and then i end up wearing it again. or there's stuff i have that has some sentimental value. though i guess that stuff could at least be packed up. either way, i think i'm giong to start the daunting task of going through my clothes. and then, maybe i'll even move on to the rest of my room...

Update

2007-03-26T11:54:00.000-07:00

so far i have managed to not buy any new clothes. i did go shopping when my mom was here, and i bought a pair of shoes at nordstroms and some clothes at buffalo exchange, but i don't think that counts. cause when your mom wants to go shopping with you, you go shopping with her. other than that, i've been really good about not shopping. even though i did feel like going shopping this weekend. i didn't. good thing i fell asleep so i couldn't go out.

a pledge

2007-03-13T13:41:00.000-07:00

so i recently came across a particular blog about refashioning old clothing. there was a pledge you could sign up for about not buying anything new and manufactured. instead you would only do something new with your old clothes, or something you found at a thrift shop. i think i'm going to do my own little spin on this though. i'm not going to necessarily refashion my old stuff, but i will do the not buying new clothes thing. i'll try and go for 2 months. now, i can't make a promise that i won't be buying other stuff (i've kind of been on a home improvement in a decorating sort of way kick lately). we'll see how it lasts. so...on may 13 i can start to purchase new clothing again. let's all see if i last.

my valentines day so far

2007-02-14T11:17:00.000-08:00

this year my valentines day started off well. i woke up and cuddled up with the argentinian as long as i could before having to get ready for work. i really didn't want to get up. i felt (and still do) so tired. things went a little downhill from there. there was insane traffic on my way to work. a normally 10 min drive took me 45+ minutes, which caused me to run out of gas. i then had to walk to the nearest gas station from half way up the offramp. upon reaching said gas station, i learned that one of those gallon container things costs $15. i had exactly $15 with me. i could not afford both the gas, and the container to hold it in. perfect. i then have to call my boyfriend to come save me, which he does, even though he is working on homework, and will be late for class. he really is the best. i couldn't have a better guy to be my "valentine". so now, i'm at work, where i really don't want to be. but at least i have tonight to look forward to.

2007-02-08T20:30:00.000-08:00

for the last week or so the ladies room at my work has reminded me of something out of a horror movie. the lights over the sinks worked, but the rest of the lights were out, except for one lone flickering light. everytime i would use the restroom it would remind me of all those scenes where a girl gets attacked by some monster or villian. finally, after the day was half gone, the lights were fixed. i no longer think of being attacked when i'm at work.

new addition

2007-02-01T08:45:00.000-08:00

so i went to the SPCA last night, hping to find a cute little animal to take home with me. and after about 2 hours of waiting (i had no idea it could take so long), i did. i found the cutest little kitten. someone else almost adopted her, but they brought out the wrong kitten to them, so i got the one i really wanted.she (i keep saying "she" cause i have yet to pick a name. any suggestions?) was scared at first and on the way home (naturally), but once we got home she calmed down immediately, and was so friendly and playful. she was exploring all over my room, and then when the argentinian and i started watching a movie, she cuddled up right between us and fell asleep. it was a little more than i thought it would cost, but totally worth it!

stars

2007-01-24T20:06:00.000-08:00

From Photos of me ...

every once and a while, a moment comes where i feel just so content and happy with my life. it's not usually when i'm out at a party or something with friends. it's those really quiet moments. earlier this evening i was lying in bed with the argentinian. he was drifting off to sleep, while i lay awake watching the stars slowly come out through the window. i suddenly felt that this was all i needed to be happy (not in a "i need a man to be happy" kind of way, but in a "simple things can make your life seem full" kind of way). i had his arms around me, as he nuzzled up closer to my neck, while he whispered, "i love you" so quietly that it's only between him and i, and i felt completely happy. i think i could be the luckiest girl in the world.

2007-01-23T22:30:00.000-08:00

i'm not sure why, but i have been dubbed the next one at work (in our team) to get engaged by this one woman. now, there aren't a whole lot of us single gals left on our team. i think there are maybe 4, not counting the 2 that are engaged (oh, and the one guy who is single, who has been with his girlfriend for 12 years. that's right. 12 years. i think he should just do it already). and one has been with her boyfriend a whole lot longer than me and my boyfriend. i mean, not that it matters the length of time you are with someone, and not that i wouldn't be absolutely 100% thrilled to be engaged to my boyfriend if it were to happen. but i'm just not sure how i won that title.

2007-01-23T14:15:00.000-08:00

why is it that every time i come to work dressed in a more "professional" way my boss is never around? here i am, trying to make a good impression, present myself the way i'm supposed to if i want to get promoted (or so i have assumed from what was said) and it's all for naught. i swear. every. single. time. of course the days i wear jeans Boss is always around.

the poor man's lindsay lohan

2007-01-23T13:18:00.000-08:00

now that miss lohan is in rehab, you may be concerned that you won't get your daily fix of her. but never fear. for there is another young starlet (though perhaps B-list?) to take her place. at least in the looks category.

behold exhibit A, the real lohan:

exhibit B, jena malone (who i happen to find VERY annoying. especially in pride and prejudice):

do they not look very similar? i'm sure it is mostly that they are both sporting long dark/blackish hair. they look way more alike than i ever have noticed.

question

2007-01-18T03:24:00.000-08:00

when it's nearly 3:30 am, and you have to be up by 6:15 am or so, do you make it an all nighter, or do you try and sleep for the 2+ hours you have left? i hate it when i have so much weighing on my mind. things get so complicated now. i truly long for the days when things were simpler.

2007-01-17T21:56:00.000-08:00

there's no better way to drive home the thought to lose a few pounds than when the sales girl brings you three pairs of jeans to try on, and they are all too small.

2007-01-14T10:00:00.000-08:00

the other day i went to the hair salon to FINALLY get my roots done (it had been far too long. but unexpected expenses which seemed more important than vanity kept coming up). while i was there i was reading through an issue of US Weekly, and i couldn't help but wonder how all the "it" girls could handle going out night after night. i am usually tired by 11pm lately on a week night. i can maybe manage to stay up til 1am or so if it's a saturday night. i used to be much more able to go out, and have a good time, and stay out til all hours of the night with friends, whether it was a week day or weekend. i know i'm a little older, but really only by a year and a half. can my energy level have fallen that much in such a short time? that seems quite a slippery slope. i know part of it has to do with the fact that i now have a job that i have to get up for, and attend on a regular basis. not classes that don't start til noon, or that i can skip. but on top of all that, i don't always even have the desire to go out as often. which is too bad. i'm only 24, and i should probably enjoy the time and freedom i have now. soon enough it could be gone. i could get married, and have a family. and by that time it will be too late. i think part of the reason i don't have the desire (aside from getting tired early) is that i may associate the going out with trying to distract myself from my life not being happy. when things are going great with my life, i'm happy and content. i don't need to go out so i don't have to think about it. when things aren't so perfect, suddenly i'm more up for it. but i really don't want to have this bad association with going out. maybe i should try and change that. not that suddenly i want to go out everynight. but more often than before. maybe go out to a bar or club a little more often than i'm used to (which is hardly ever). not cause i want to go and drink a lot. that's not what i mean at all. but just to go out and have a good time like i used to once and a while before i'm in total settle down mode and can't really do it anymore.

one more time, with feeling

2007-01-11T13:15:00.000-08:00

so i've been looking through old pictures lately (well, not that old, but from the early part of 2006). and i know it's stupid, and superficial, but really, i was in better shape. people always say, "like you could ever be fat." but you know what, i bet there are TONS of people out there who got told that, and they are fat now. it's a slippery slope. you gain 2 pounds one year, 3 pounds the next, five after that, and before you know it, you are 20 pounds heavier than you used to be. sure i'm skinny now. i'm no where near fat. but really, do i want to let it get to the point where it's a huge struggle to lose that 25 pounds i put on, cause it crept up on me? no. no thank you. i prefer to fight my battles while they are small. and right now, it looks like i'm in for a little bit of a battle. i've put on maybe 5 pounds since the beginning of last year. maybe a little less. but i reached my highest weight ever in the last year, and that's a little depressing. so, i am making an official statement, in writing, for everyone to see. i am planning to get down to my ideal weight by...umm...i'll say end of march. we'll see if i can make it. who knows. but i'm going to give it my best shot.

i swear i'm not a techie of any sort

2007-01-10T09:44:00.000-08:00

but the new iphone looks super cool. even cooler than when jen and i first got a look at the new itunes and were (sadly and geek-ily excited about it). i totally want one. too bad they are $500-$600. i guess they don't come out til june. and in december maybe since my contract is up i can barter some sort of discount or credit towards a new phone.

review

2007-01-09T10:44:00.000-08:00

thursday 5:12 pm:
receive email about end of year review appointment with boss on monday afternoon. 4:00 pm - 4:30pm.

friday-sunday:
forget about end of year review appointment.

monday 9:30 am:
remember appointment with boss. wonder if you will get a raise.

monday 12:30 pm:
realize your appointment is at the end of the day. could you be getting fired? why else would you be getting your review so late in the day?

monday 3:45 pm:
rationalize that if you were getting fired, they wouldn't do your review on a monday. you would have it at the end of the week. why would they have you come work for just one day in the week?

monday 4:00 pm:
enter boss's office, recieve raise. breath sigh of relief.

i'll be the girl

2007-01-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

i'm not sure why this tiffany song came into my mind today. but for whatever reason, it's there, and to be honest is kind of stuck in my head at the moment. i never really gave this song much thought. but then i started thinking about it, and it has kind of a not so great line, that could be a bad message. "I'll be the girl, that you want me to be." i'm sure young tiffany didn't think much about this either when she sang it in malls across america. but it kind of promotes changing who you are to attract a boy, and keep him from "even looking at other girls". now other lines are more sweet and acceptable. it's just that part in the main chorus that kind of got me thinking. we should be who we are (guys and girls), and not change who we are to make someone like us. i know that a lot of people make that mistake. at least when they are younger in age. i know i did. there was at least one or two boyfriends i had where i wasn't 100% myself, cause i didn't want him to change how he felt about me. luckily i grew older, and wiser, and snapped out of that. i decided that if someone didn't like me for who i was, then that isn't my problem. cause there are lots of people out there who will love/like me for who i am.

new year

2007-01-08T18:13:00.000-08:00

well, it's a new year. a new start. a time to make resolutions that won't make it til the end of the month most likely, let alone the end of the year. i didn't make one specific resolution this year (well, i guess i did say i was going to save money), but a more general one that covers kind of a lot. i recently read those are harder to stick to, but oh well. i decided just to take better care of myself all around. health wise, as far as eating and all of that stuff that goes along with it. also taking a little more time for me, to think, figure things out, and relax. i tend to kind of get caught up in more trivial things and not taking as much time for myself as i always should. not that i am feeling a need to like "have space" or "be alone" or anything to where i want to neglect any of my relationships, but just even if i'm with someone else really taking care of my needs a little bit more, since i've not been doing that as much as i should have always. i guess kind of just making sure that i am happy (not to make it seem like i was unhappy before). so that's my resolution this year. sure, it's kind of vague, but i'm happy with it that way.

the last one

2006-12-15T10:19:00.000-08:00

well, today is my last day in my apartment. i'm spending it much like i spent my first few days in the apartment. except instead of unpacking, i'm packing it all up other than that it's the same. sitting at home, not working, with a movie on, and eating donuts and soda is exactly what i spent a lot of time doing in the beginning. those were pretty relaxing days. i'll miss this apartment. a lot of memories made. a few bad, but mostly good. this has been a crazy year: moving to a new (kind of) city, getting my first real job, meeting a wonderful guy that i can't imagine not having in my life. i can't wait to see what next year holds.

a good day

2006-12-08T07:24:00.000-08:00

so my friend and i found a place to live. it's a 3 bedroom house, and it's pretty nice. we're both pretty excited about it. i've never lived in my own house. i mean, it's not a huge house, so it's not all that different from an apartment. but it's kind of nice that we have our own little driveway, and a garage. so that was some great news yesterday.

something else that happened yesterday was my company christmas party. now it was an alright party (free food and drinks), but what made it even better was that i won something in the raffle. and not one of the lame poinsettia plants either (my coworker and i each made a sigh of relief to each other when we did not win one of the plants. we'd rather go home empty handed than with one of those). but what i did win, is a digital camera and a printer! now i did just buy a camera not all that long ago. like 8 months maybe, if even. but i do need a printer. i can't tell if it's a regular all purpose printer, or just a photo printer. cause it shows it printing pictures on the box, but it seems awfully big compared to the other photo-only printers i've seen. so that was pretty cool, cause i never win anything.

the argentinian and i also went to this thing for his work as well. which had more free food and drinks, but by that time, i was full. i could barely eat a couple of egg rolls.

overall, it was a lot of fun and a lot of good news.

moving

2006-12-06T11:14:00.000-08:00

i'm going to be moving in less than 10 days. i have done hardly any packing. i've managed to move a few things into the argentinian's house (i'm living with him temporarily). things that are moved: a few pairs of tennis shoes, my one and only plant, a night stand, some books/magazines, movies, and enough clothes that i've managed to get by lately when i stay over. i'm starting to actually worry that i haven't done more. i'm not really great at the whole packing and moving thing. in fact, i'm kind of bad about it. i'm a huge procrastinator when it comes to that sort of thing. last time i moved, i was there til super late at night moving stuff. luckily my nice brother was there helping me. i don't want this to happen this time. that's why i initially wanted to bring stuff over a little at a time. that hasn't worked out quite like i planned. i guess this week i need to really buckle down and do that. ugh...i HATE packing. it's the worst.

you're such a gamer

2006-12-03T00:26:00.000-08:00

so over the thanksgiving holiday, when i was up in sacramento, i experienced something new. that new thing was the nintendo wii. after waiting what seemed like hours for my brother to get it all set up and updated, we (my brothers, s-i-l, argentinian and me. and later on my mom) all sad down for some fun. you get to create little game people that look like you. so we each took our turn, disagreeing over what our height, eyes, or hair should look like (i swear they were going to have me look like a baby next to all of them). one of the cool things, is it comes with this sports game that lets you pick from like four or five different sports, and it's really realistic as far as the little character of you moving the same as the real you does. it was also super hilarious to see my mom playing the tennis game. she gets so into it, practically running around the family room like it was a tennis court (even after you tell her she can really just move her hand/arm around). every time my mom plays video games with us it cracks me up. we had one of those fighting type games before, like mortal kombat or whatever, and we got my mom to play. she actually beat us sometimes. she's better than you'd think.

forever...

2006-12-03T00:10:00.000-08:00

it's been like a month since i've updated this thing. i don't know why, since i've actually started a post since the last one a couple times. but stuff always got in the way. like my boss coming around, a power outage at work, ect. maybe i should stop trying to update when i'm at work. a novel idea i'm sure i won't hold to. but i guess once i'm home from work i don't always think of something interesting to post about. anyways...here's a quick update on my life (for those who care, and don't already know):

first of all, i am moving. not to a new state or anything like that. or even really to a new city (though technically it is a different town or whatever). i will also be living with a new roommate. while things with the roommate i have now are fine (how could they be bad when i'm hardly even home after all) i am going to be living with one of my friends. so that will be fun.

things with the argentinian are going very well. he came up to sacramento with me for thanksgiving at my mom's house. he met my brothers and sister-in-law (it's still very weird to me that my brother is actually married...not like i thought he was an unmarriable kind of guy, but it's just weird), and everybody really likes him. which came as no surprise to me, since he's a pretty likable guy. i don't know if anyone i've introduced him to has ever not liked him. so he's now met my entire family. i have yet to meet his. though i did talk to his mom once on IM, only for like a minute though. he also got to meet more of my friends, but not all of them unfortunately. one's pregnancy, and another's mix up of the time made it so we couldn't all meet up together. i'm going to be staying with him for a couple weeks until i move into my new place. it's going to save me hundreds of dollars, so i was muy grateful he was happy to let me do that. he's the best boyfriend ever.

other than that, nothing really new with my life. though i do plan to try and update this more often. i feel kind of bad (even though i don't really have a reason besides p.bear asking for updates) i haven't done it more often. for like a month or something. crazy.

the single person's new year's?

2006-11-01T15:19:00.000-08:00

so i've heard a lot recently how halloween is "the single person's new year's" and i wasn't sure i bought into it. sure, last year i had had a more exciting and fun halloween then i had in years, but that didn't mean i wouldn't have just as much fun as last year this time around.

as many know, halloween is a time when girls can dress up as whatever, scandalous (see above) or not, and no one really says anything (except for maybe the girls' mothers). i suppose that is part of the fun of halloween. no judgement. also, upholding the thought that halloween is the single's new year's, are tales of rampant hook-ups on halloween. i've never really been one for the random halloween hook-up myself. but, to each his own. where there are parties and drinking, it is bound to happen.

despite all these thoughts, i never really thought of halloween that way. that is, until this year. don't get me wrong. i had a lot of fun going out to a few parties this weekend. but, it was definitely different than last year. first clue, when i was thinking i'd just wear my costume from last year since i couldn't find anything on friday night, the argentinian was not too keen on the idea. he agreed with my mother about the costume (please note it wasn't as bad as the one pictured above or anything). pressed for time, i ended up going in a costume i was less than thrilled with. but at least i was able to pull something together more decent by the next night's round of parties. also, going to halloween parties with your boyfriend or girlfriend just has a different feel. you're not one of the single's running around in your skimpy little costume, flirting with the cute boys. you're the one who found a costume that can incorporate a jacket so you don't freeze to death, cause you know you have someone to make out with no matter how you are dressed.

oops...

2006-11-01T11:44:00.000-08:00

so i'm on the phone at work talking to this girl a cubicle area away from me, asking her a question about something. suddenly, my phone starts blaring music (the new ringtone i was in the middle of downloading). everyone, and i mean EVERYONE around me hears it and is like, what's going on. it happens not once, but twice. my office, of course, is dead silent when this happens. well, save me and the other girl on the phone. sooooo embarrassing. especially with the "nice ringtone" comment afterwards.

halloween: work edition

2006-10-31T12:27:00.000-08:00

today we had a halloween celebration at work. each little "pod" was decorated as a different theme. my group was disneyland (pictures once i get them). my ride was the matterhorn. there are judges for individual costume, and for the group as a whole. apparently our group has a fairly good chance of winning the group one. i can say that i agree with that. i think we did a good job. i'll post if we won later.

halloween

2006-10-29T21:00:00.000-08:00

so the halloween parties are all over with for the year. unless i actually make it out on the night of halloween. but with having to work the next day, i'm not so sure that that is going to happen. plus, i feel so old lately that it doesn't aid me in going out on week nights. i don't know if i should fight against this, or settle into my old age and find a good book to settle into bed with. but that is a topic for a different post. we (the argentinian and i) made it to three parties over the course of the weekend. though one was only for a very short time. it was fun. he was some sort of monk, but like a gansta looking one. and i was in a catholic school uniform.i got to see a friend on friday that i haven't seen in a while, like a couple months. so that was nice. hopefully i'll see him a little more often. i should be better about that. saturday we went to some parties with this other couple that were being thrown by some of the argentinian's friends. four vodka/oj's, a lost earring, finally finding my earring, waiting for a car to be cool enough to start, falling asleep in the back seat, and the evening was over. after the parties, we just fell into bed and went right to sleep, and proceeded to not do much the rest of the weekend. i feel so old sometimes. like when staying out til 12 or 1 in the morning, and then i'm tired the next day. so sad.

a range of emotions

2006-10-19T15:35:00.000-07:00

i went down to the vending machine today to get a soda, and something to snack on while i worked. i put in my change for my bag of candy, and the little metal spiral stops short of my candy falling down. a slight grunt of disappointment escapes my throat. then, magically, the spiral starts turning again, and not only does my bag of candy fall, but another bag of candy falls. giving me two for the price of one. also, during my search for vending machines, i came across a statistic that over 50 people have been killed in the last 28 years since vending machines have been around (1978). that's almost 2 people a year. death by vending machine - that's rough.i know that this second picture is of a japanese vending machine, but i just loved that it was an egg vending machine. that's right, it despenses brightly colored eggs. how cute.

old people shouldn't be allowed to drive

2006-10-19T15:31:00.000-07:00

why should they not be allowed to drive? because a couple of times recently (including today) some careless old person has almost just come from their lane out of nowhere into mine. and then proceeded to wander back over to theirs. why isn't there more regulation on old people with licences?

ecstatic

2006-10-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

i got my new computer today, and i love it. that is all for now.

engagement

2006-10-11T11:26:00.000-07:00

first off, no, i am not engaged, if the title made any people suspect that is what this was about.

i just overheard a woman at my work announcing to some people she is now engaged. i myself was talking about engagement last night with the argentinian (not in a "we're planning on getting engaged/talking about getting married sort of way"). he tells me, not for the first time, how he wants a girl to propose to him. i tell him how i would never propose to a guy, no matter what.

"why not?" he asks.

"i can't even ask a guy out on a date when i'm single, and you think i could ask someone to marry me? no way. what if the guy said no?" i answer.

cause really, if i'm so afraid to even ask someone out cause i don't want the rejection of asking someone out and them saying no, how horrible would it be to ask someone to spend their life with you and them say no? i think once girls are ready to be married, and are with the right person, they drop little hints to some extent, making it known what they want. do guys do the same thing? i think not. in my personal experience, even when a guy says he could see himself spending his life with you it is not a sure bet. so i think i'm really going to pass on the whole proposing thing. not that i don't admire girls who have done it. good for you. but me, no way. call me traditional, call me what you want, but i want the guy to propose to me.

i hope this is for real

2006-10-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

i know that this could very well be some sort of publicity stunt, or forced hanging out for the new season of the simple life, but i hope they really are friends again.

really?

2006-10-09T08:57:00.000-07:00

i was on my way home on saturday afternoon from the argentinian's house, and i was kind of hungry. so since i didn't have all that much to eat at home, i stopped at taco bell. the taco bell shares a parking lot with in-n-out, and so there is often a rather long line of cars that crowds up the place. so i'm trying to squeeze through a line of cars (in my car) and a dumpster when this girl in a truck starts trying to go through as well. i see her mouth the words about "she'll have to back up." even though i had started through the space first, i was like, whatever, no big deal, i'll just back up. i knew there was a ped (pedestrian) walking around behind my car, so i waited a second and was looking back for him to be out of the way of my car. i slowly move back, as in i just take my foot off the brake and let me car roll. suddenly, this ass ped spits his drink, which appears to have some food in it as well, on the back of my car. and keeps on walking away. needless to say, it pisses me off. so i drive over to where he is just sitting down with one of his friends, and get out of my car and ask if there is a reason that he spit on my car.

"yeah," he said. "you almost hit me."

"no, i didn't. i waited for you to be out of the way," i respond.

"oh, you waited."

which yeah, i did wait. cause really, is hitting some ped high on my list of things to do? i'm pretty sure it's not. so even if he thought that i was going to hit him, which i wasn't even near him so i don't know what his deal was, why is spitting on someone's car the first thought you have? cause i'm pretty sure that it's an accident if someone hits a person. and i'm pretty sure the one mile an hour nudge wouldn't have phased him. but i wasn't even near him, so it was stupid.

later that day i almost got hit by a backing out car in my apartment complex parking lot. and you know what, i didn't even think about spitting on their car. i didn't even say anything. cause i was mostly just like, whoa, i almost got hit by a car. not like, hey, what an ass. i'm sure this older woman was trying to run me over. what can i do that lacks complete human decency to show my rage. even if i was mad, the worst i would do is maybe give an angry look. when did it become ok to spit on people or their stuff. i'm pretty sure spitting on someone's body is assault. why should spitting on their car be any more ok?

an epidemic

2006-09-29T08:53:00.000-07:00

so first rachel zoe starts to look rather haggard. well, more like very haggard.

and now the girls she styles are looking bad too.

why are you doing this to our young hollywood starlets rachel? first you let them (or help them) get so super skinny, and then you let them go to a premier with greasy hair like brandon davis's and looking all cracked out? not to mention from what i can see that dress does not look all that cute.

License

2006-09-24T08:57:00.000-07:00

so i got my new license in the mail on saturday. it obviously looks much more like me, aside from the fact that it makes me look tanorexic (see below).

really, i'm not that tan/orange. i don't know what happened. but i was at least looking forward to not having so much scrutiny put on my picture from when i was 16. i would finally be able to get in bars without the hassle. not true. on the first night i actually use my new license, i get just as much hassle as before. "what's your birthdate? what's your license number?" i mean i know i look like indian or something in the picture, but it's still a real ID.

UPDATE

2006-09-22T10:46:00.000-07:00

so earlier i was talking about how no one at my office knew how to say my last name. yesterday in our team meeting we had to do these little mini introductions since we got a new girl. people were saying there first and last names. so i obviously said mine. the reaction: "wait, how do you say your last name?" i was like, "yeah, people tend to get it wrong. it's no big deal. it's been happening my whole life." but maybe now it won't be mispronounced quite so often. a small victory.

so cute

2006-09-22T10:42:00.000-07:00

have you seen the pictures of gwen stefani and gavin rossdale's baby? i just saw one this morning. that kid is so cute. kingston looks so much like his dad. gwen's looking pretty good herself, for having a baby not all that long ago.

not sure if i'll make it

2006-09-20T16:30:00.000-07:00

so i picked up this book on fasting the other day (juice and other types). and i've started reading it, and it's kind of got me wanting to try it. i've never really fasted before. well, except in high school once when we did some fast to raise money or something. but that was barely 24 hours. and to be 100% honest, i might have snuck a cookie or something that a friend gave me. so i'm actually wanting to try it. or slowly work my way up to it. when i was reading all these benefits you can get from it,it's hard to not want to even try. i don't know that i could make it though. like i'm sure for like one day i could do it. but for three days? that i'm not so sure of. three days surviving on nothing but juice would be hard, considering i've been getting even more hungry lately. maybe i'll try it sometime this week or weekend. i'll keep you posted.

new beginnings

2006-09-20T15:53:00.000-07:00

so my friend and i are going to be starting a fashion blog. something new and creative for me to do at work, and something new and creative for her to do after work. as if i don't take my job seriously. hurtful... but who am i kidding. i will work on it at work.